Poker & House Rules Jokes
Here is the list of the best
Poker & House Rules related jokes we have heard, if you have
additional jokes
about poker & house rules that are not listed here, please
send them to us and we shell include them as well.
Business as usual at the poker
lounge
In a 20-40 Hold'em game at
the poker lounge, a drunken guy was starting to get out of
line.
"Well this was a real pussy-pink river of a card from you
dealer!" he roared after missing a flush.
The dealer approached the drunk thoughtfully; "Excuse me
sir, but there is a lady at the table. Please refrain from
bad language, or you will have to leave."
On the next round, the drunk doesn't pick up his game, and
on the flop he looses to a straight. "Jesus fucking Christ!
Just light my Goddamn wallet on fire you pinhead?"
The dealer was utterly at his edge; "Sir, this is the last
time I'm telling you, a young lady sitting by the table! Use
an appropriate language or I will have you escorted out of
here!"
On the next hand, each player in the game wades into the
pot. There are raises and caps on each and every card. At
the end, the drunk guy has an inside straight and he wins
the 20-40 pot of the month. The drunken guy than looks at
the dealer over his huge pile of chips while asking, "Do you
guys share tips or keep them for yourselves?"
The dealer's reply is that "We all keep our own tips."
The drunken guy tosses three green chips to the dealer and
says smiling; "Well have a firkin' token on me,
motherfucker."
The dealer proceeds and picks up the $50, he turns towards
the young lady and says, "I'm sorry Miss, I'm afraid you'll
have to leave the table.”
Pack your things!!!
Wild Cat
A guy walks into a
saloon asking for a
drink. He than sees
some locals playing
a poker game and
asked them if he can
play as well. They
tell him to take a
seat. This is a no
limit 5-card draw
game, they explain
since, he's a pretty
good player he
agrees. After a
little over an hour
of so-so hands, he
manages to draws
Aces full and so he
makes a considerable
bet. This old guy
from across the
table raises all-in
and the guy calls.
This old guy than
lays down a hand of
23457 while reaching
for the chips.
"Hey, wait just a
second. I've got
Aces-full."
The old guy says
“sure, but I've drew
a wild cat".
"A wild cat? A wild
cat? What in gods
name is a wild cat?"
"A wild cat is 23457
off-suits." Just
like this one, "the
old man replies."
Our guy starts to
burn from the inside
out and than says,
"I have played a
great deal of poker
in my days, but I
have never ever
heard of a wild
cat."
"Well, I am sure
you've played a
great deal of poker
and so you ought to
know that you should
really learn all the
house rules prior to
your playing. And
this here wild cat
is a house rule."
The old guy than
points towards a
sign hanged just
over our guy's left
shoulder. The sign
says,
"A House Rule - Wild
Cat is a 23457
off-suit and it
beats everything"
Being an honorable
gambler and a
gentleman, our guy
takes his hand back
and sits back for
more poker.
A few hours later,
our guy is dealt
23457o. He than bets
highly and the same
old guy raises him
the pot. Without
even the slightest
hints our guy raises
all-in. The old guy
calls and he lays
down his cards, an
ace high flush, and
sends his hand for
the chips.
"Wait just one
moment.", our guy
lays down his cards
and says, I've got a
wild cat.
"That's a nice
hand.” the old guy
says as he collects
the pot. "What did I
tell you about house
rules?", says the
old guy as he points
to another sign over
the stranger's right
shoulder.
"House Rule -Wild
Cat - Only Good Once
a Night"
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