Poker & Common Knowledge Jokes

Here is the list of the best Poker Common Knowledge related jokes we have heard, if you have additional jokes about poker knowledge that are not listed here, please send them to us and we shell include them as well.

5 POKER RELATED LIES:

Poker players love bluffing so much that they can rarely stop once they leave the table. Some of the more common 'misrepresentations of reality':
1) "Just a few more hands and I'll be done".
2) "I came out about even"
3) "I have no problem folding AK when it misses the flop."
4) [While watching poker on ESPN] "See that guy, the one in the hat? Like two tables behind this main table they're showing -- see the one who just kind of stretched? Yeah, that's me."
5) "I won"  

TOP 5 THINGS NOT TO SAY AT A POKER TABLE:

The image you display at a poker table is a result of what you say as much as the way you play. Here are some key phrases you should avoid while playing at a Hold 'em table:
1) "Hey, on my regular table, we get three cards dealt to us."
2) "This one time, in a free roll..."
3) "Dealer, wait! One of these cards should be facing up, no?"
4) "Mister, you already checked. I'm darn sure you're not allowed to raise now."
5) "Call"

A good hand

Maybe the most frequent of poker mishaps is when a player wins a pot, but with all the excitement of stacking up his chips, he forgets to return his cards to the dealer. When he is reminded to do so, he replies, "They're so good I want to keep them, and use them again on the next hand!"

Crappy hand

Every once in a while two poker players will play each other and raise again and again, and when it's over, one of them will reveal cards, and the other, seeing them, frown faced will say "You played that crappy hand?" and when he will turn his hand over, its the same hand.

Just the card I wanted

A card gets unintentionally exposed at some stage in the deal. The dealer shows it to everyone, announces that this card will be the burn card, and will not be in the play. Unavoidably, some wise guy will always say, "Well, that kills my hand," or "There goes my quads."

Poker Man

To have a poker man in your life, can be just as a deck of cards:
You will need the heart to find the love.
You will need the diamonds for marrying him.
You will need the club so you can beat him.
And finally you will need a spade so you can bury the bastards!

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