Poker & Addicts Jokes
Here is the list of the best
Poker & Addicts related jokes we have heard, if you have
additional jokes
about poker & addicts that are not listed here, please
send them to us and we shell include them as well.
Go to Vegas
There's this one guy who
lives in Alabama. One morning, he woke up hearing a voice
inside his head. This voice was saying,
"Leave your job, sell your home, take all of your money, and
go to Las Vegas."
He ignores the voice.
Later on that day, he hears the same voice again.
"Leave your job, sell your home, take all of your money, and
go to Vegas."
Again, he pays no attention to the voice.
Soon all he hears is the voice in every single minute of the
single day.
"Leave your job, sell your home, take all of your money, and
go to Vegas."
He can't put up with it anymore. He starts to believe in the
voice.
He leaves his job, sells his home, takes every single penny
of his money, and gets on a plane to Las Vegas.
As soon as the plane lands, the voice says, "Get out of the
plane and go to straight to the Horseshoe."
He goes without delay to The Horseshoe.
Than he hears the voice saying, "Take all of your money and
put it into the World Series of Poker (WSOP) entry."
He places his $100,000 and acquires his entry into the WSOP.
This man now goes directly to his assigned table at the
tournament.
The dealer starts the game, and the guy is dealt his first
hand.
The voice, now louder than ever says, "Go all in."
He pushes all of his 100,000 dollars bankroll into the pot.
Three of the players call.
The dealer now lays down the flop which is 8h9h10h.
The voice says, "Dam."
The last game
James was a keen poker
player, close to the point of forgetting anything else. He
played whenever he could, with whom ever he could, and was
actually quite good at it. Regrettably, he used to take the
game a bit to hard and much to personally.
At one of the games, after a tedious nine hour session,
James was dealt four aces so he bet a considerable load. Al
was a lean elderly guy whose main interest seems to be
putting James on a tilt. Jack drew three cards and James
drew one. James considered a check raising the bet, but
eventually bet $500.00, figuring Al wouldn’t call or more
likely fold.
Instead, Jack shoved his entire stack of chips to the center
while saying, "I bet two thousand all-in".
James couldn't believe his ears and called the bet.
With an uncontrollable mile from ear to ear, James said,
"Four Aces.", he said and reached for the stack of chips.
"Slow down, not so fast, junior." says Al. "I' got a
Straight Flush right to the jack."
James nearly went into shock. After a short while, James got
up and serenely walked to the bathroom. As he splashed some
cool water onto his face, he spotted an old shaving razor on
a shelf underneath the mirror.
He evenly reached and took the old razor and slashed both
his wrists. As he was standing there watching his blood
flowing into the sink, one of the bathroom booth doors had
opened and, Michael, one of James’s friends had just walked
out.
Michael looking at James in front of the old mirror said,
"Hey, James. A couple of guys from the old gang are meeting
at David’s place tomorrow for some stud. Want to go?"
James hastily pressed both of his wrists together, vein to
vein, and said, "What time?"
Three
signs that you might have a gambling
problem
1. When
you help your five-year-old son learn
math you do it by teaching him to count
cards
2. When your addiction therapist says
that he thinks that you have “good odds”
to cure your gambling problem, you feel
an immediate need to call your bookie.
3. You already lost your wife in a poker
game; and when you went
double-or-nothing lost your mistress to;
and now they absolutely will not to let
you bet your hooker.
The
Leprechaun
This
one guy was playing a game of 10-20
holdem poker and had already lost
around 300 dollars when suddenly he
looked down, and just beside the
table he sees a little green
leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now
and I will give you a million
dollars worth in a pot full of
gold.” said the little green fellow.
The player replied, sure "just Let
me get even first."
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